Stupid Things I've Heard Mothers and Fathers Say (Part 1)

Here's a list:

• "NO! You will not take another sample from my son's precious blood! You're draining him away!" -Scared woman who was pissed off at us for taking a few samples for reports. I think she also said something about selling her baby's blood in the black market. 

• "I don't know why I didn't bring him sooner Doc. I just thought that his head growing faster than his body and that's where the brain is right? So he'd be getting smarter too!" - Mother who brought in her hydrocephalic child after months of leaving his head to grow in size. (Google hydrocephalus if you want, but I must warn you, it's pretty disturbing.)

• "Listen Doc, I know he had a seizure and he needs to be under observation for a few hours, but I have work in the morning and his mother's tired. Can't we just leave him here and come back to pick him up in the morning?"  -Father after realizing he was going to have stay 5 extra hours with his child that had a convulsion.

• "Can't I just give him my blood Doc? Yeah I understand it has to be a match but I'm his daddy and I know MY blood will specifically save him." - Father upon hearing it's not like the movies and that it  actually takes an hour for a kid to receive blood from the hospital.

• "I'm worried about his poop Doc! It's brown and it smells nastier than usual. What do you think it could be?" - Mother discovering that poop is actually brown and smells pretty bad.

• "So.... You're saying we SHOULDN'T feed him to the point of vomiting? But that's what my mom did and look at me! I'm fine!" -Mother reveals her wonderful technique for feeding her baby that is also, a family trade secret