Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Philosophical Dialogs Make Me Happy and Sad. Especially When Had in KFC

So I went to sign in a couple of days ago, and seeing as how the ER was still closed, decided to hang out around the hospital for a while. A thing you need to know about interns and residents. We might start off initially by hating the hospital with every goddamn fiber in our being, but eventually it starts to grow on you. The dilapidated halls. The constant screaming and crying. The lack of any proper AC ventilation even in the heat of summer. These are the things we miss when we're not there. So I called up Dr. Friend to see how he was doing in Cardiothoracic Surgery. (see for more information on Dr. Friend).

"Hey man. What's up? You free for a bit?" I asked.
"10 minutes. The KFC outside. Move now."

I did as I was told and met him inside the KFC. He looked exhausted. He looked like every single cell in his body needed to rest. He told me to order as he went to the bathroom. We sat down a couple of minutes later.

"So how's Cardiothoracic going Friend?"
"I want to die."
"Hahah, the work can't be that bad. Try to cheer up."
"It's not the work. The work is the best part. I don't even mind doing the dirty work. It's just that every goddamn night I go back home at 5:30 am only to wake up at 9:00 am. I don't know they do it. I've been doing this for 6 days now. 6 days of sleeping for just 3 hours man. Ramadan's coming up. What the fuck am I going to do in the blistering August sun during Ramadan."
"It'll work itself out. Your brain's eventually going to realize that 3 hours is the new norm. It'll access some energy and fix you right up. You just need to wait for the biological shift to happen."
"Right sure. Of course. Problem is the brain's going to access the energy and steal away my lifespan and I'll die early."
"Screw those last 5 years of life man. You won't want to live with dementia and giant prostate pressing on your urethra. Anyways what're you doing now?"
"Need to go to the Internal Medicine Hospital to check on a patient there. He's got this chest tube attached and I need to make sure all is well."
Just as he said that his phone rang. It was the senior resident far as I could tell. Suddenly he had a huge smile on his face and thanked the guy and closed the phone.
"What happened?"
"FUCK YES! Remember that patient I had to go see in Internal Medicine?"
"Yeah, what about him?"
"DEAD! I don't need to go check on him anymore. That gives me an extra hour of time off!"
"Alright! Sweet!"
We high fived.

I know this sounds horrendously harsh and brutal, but we deal with dying patients every single day. We can't be expected to feel sorry for every single one that dies. Especially those with terminal illnesses who are much better off dead than they are alive. All depressing does is lead you to straight to the psych ward. So before you judge me or my friend, try staying in a hospital for a year and then come back and talk to us.

I started talking again, "So what's your situation with the army?"

For Non-Egyptians reading. Serving in the army is an obligation and not a choice. If you have a brother and you're going to serve time in the army. There are ways to get out of it but that depends on very specific circumstances and scenarios.

"Don't know yet. I get called in August and we'll see from there on. I doubt they're going to take me in though based on my weight and all."
"Alright! Well that's great news. Least you don't get sucked into Army duty for a year."
"What are you talking about? If I could, I'd lose the weight."
"Think about it. There's nothing to do there AND I get to sleep more than I do here. Shit, I envy the other residents who get to go."
Here was my friend, wishing to be in the army rather than stay as a resident in the hospital. 

It kind of makes you wonder .....................................

(about how fucking important sleep is)


  1. I've been thinking a lot about jail lately.
    Yes, you have to wake up early for breakfast but you get a whole day of nothing to do other than sleep.

  2. It's great! You can work on yourself and even self-teach!